


A for Alibi

by AlfredKvaak



Series: Alphabet [1]
Category: One Piece
Genre: Attempt at Humor, Canon Compliant, Drabble, Ducks love you all!, M/M
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2017-07-22
Updated: 2017-07-22
Packaged: 2018-12-05 08:53:08
Rating: Not Rated
Warnings: Creator Chose Not To Use Archive Warnings
Chapters: 1
Words: 1,184
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/11574672
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/AlfredKvaak/pseuds/AlfredKvaak
Summary: Alibi /ˈalɪbʌɪ/Noun:A claim or piece of evidence that one was elsewhere when an act, typically a criminal one, is alleged to have taken place.Synonyms: Defence, Defending evidence, Excuse, Explanation, Justification





	A for Alibi

**Author's Note:**

> Eiichiro Oda's One Piece has been serialized in Shueisha's Weekly Shōnen Jump magazine officially since July 22, 1997. 
> 
> Fast-forward to this date July 22, 2017. I started to write to celebrate the 20th anniversary of One Piece. 
> 
> Happy birthday One Piece and thank you Oda!

”Okay, let’s start from the beginning, shall we?” Sanji gave a stern stare towards his crewmates who had gathered around the galley. “About half an hour ago, I left for a bath while the roasted chicken warmed in the oven. When I got back, _somebody_ had raided my kitchen. So could we take the easy road and have the culprit step forward now?”

Nobody moved.

Sanji’s blue eyes resembled his cold tone that he used, trying to intimidate the culprit to confess. When he looked to Nami and Robin, his eyes turned into flying hearts. “Of course, my precious mellorines have nothing to do with this and their attendance is just a pleasant formality,” he noodled around the women.

“But Sanji, the kitchen looks fine,” Chopper pointed out cautiously, “Why do you suspect that somebody would have stolen food?”

That brought Sanji back to earth. He searched his pocket for a cigarette and lighter, calmly lit the cancer stick, took a long drag and breathed out. “It might look like that everything is normal here, but the culprit left too much evidence.”

“First!” Sanji raised one of his fingers up. “I had made some side dishes, and their amount has decreased by half. Second!” A second finger rose. “Fresh tangerine juice has been watered down so it looks like it has the same amount as before. Third!” Three fingers were up. “I remember making a dessert cake, but now it’s completely gone. And finally…” Sanji let his fingers down. He looked calm, too calm, like the calm before a storm.

“I could be remembering wrong,” he said serenely. “ _Maybe_ I did fewer garnishes. _Maybe_ the juice was too thin from the beginning. _Maybe_ I even imagined making that cake!” The volume increased in every sentence until suddenly he quietly said: “But what I’m sure that I didn’t miss when starting to cook…” He grabbed the chicken, turned it around and yelled, “…were these two huge holes in my chicken!”

Controlling his temper, Sanji took again a long drag of nicotine before continuing. “So if everybody would tell me where they’ve been for the last half an hour.”

“Well, I was drawing my maps. At some point, I went to check that we were on the right course,” Nami started.

“Oh my beautiful Nami-swan! You don’t have to explain anything! I know that a delicate flower like you could never do such an unscrupulous crime!” Sanji swooned. “Same of course goes for you my Robin-Chwan!”

“Oh thank you Cook-san,” Robin smiled, “but may I confirm Brook’s alibi because while I was reading in the aquarium room, he was playing violin there for the whole time.”

“And Luffy and I were trying to catch this huuuge sea king with my new Ultimate-Usopp’s-Special-King’s-Rod which helped me once catch this enormous sea dragon that threatened the whole kingdom of…” Usopp blabbered.

Franky had to speak over him. “I was building this SUPER shelf for medicines in the infirmary. Chopper was there with me.” He also confirmed Chopper’s whereabouts while the little reindeer was too busy admiring Usopp’s story.

Now everybody looked at Zoro, who snorted: “Tsk, like I should explain myself, but I think it’s pretty obvious that I was training in the crow’s nest.“

“Yeah, and it’s pretty obvious that you should put your shirt on before you come and sweat in my kitchen in front of ladies, you neanderthal.” Sanji snorted back.

“So if we put this together, all of us were with somebody, except Zoro and Nami.” Robin summarized.

“So in Sanji’s logic, it must be Zoro! The case is closed!” Luffy shouted.

“Not so fast Rubber-man!” Sanji interrupted. “Who says that there is just one culprit? They might have acted as a pair so nobody is innocent yet.”

“But Sanji! I want to put an end to this and finally eat for real!” Luffy insisted.

“Luffy is right Sanji. In this light, it is natural to suspect Zoro as the culprit.” Nami said, ignoring her own frail alibi.

“I understand Nami-swan, but I just want to be sure of who the criminal is and not to rush to conclusions. This is about the precious food after all.”

That made Luffy pout. “But Sanji, you’re always bickering with Zoro. Why don’t you see now that he is the reason why we aren’t eating at the moment?” The rubber-man earned a hard glare from the blond.

Robin gave a knowing smile. “I think that what Cook-san is trying to hint is that he doesn’t believe that Swordsman-san has stolen the food, as if he trusts him and his alibi.”

That made Nami smile. “But Robin, the only way for Sanji-kun to believe in Zoro’s innocence that much would mean that they would have had to been together that time…” Nami realized the meaning of her words and how Sanji’s face had started to take on a reddish shade “…in the same place,” she ended her statement, which was emphasized by the silence that followed.

Now everybody’s gazes settled on Sanji, whose face looked as red as a sun burn, and Zoro, who tried his best to look at something interesting on the (empty) wall. Both men’s hair were wet and their skin moist. Sanji’s from the bath, Zoro’s from _supposed_ workout. The crew’s eyes went wide when they added one plus one together. Only Luffy’s result was three.

“What?” he wondered. “I still can’t understand why Sanji doesn’t suspect Zoro.”

Robin chuckled. “Well it looks like our Swordsman-san had no reason to steal food at that time because our Cook-san was serving him ‘special treats.’ ”

Robin’s innuendo sinking in their minds, Sanji turned even redder, Zoro looked more intensely at the wall and all the others’ eyes widened even more. Well, all but Luffy’s who indignantly shouted, “What? Zoro’s gotten special treats?! No fair! Why would Zoro get extra food when Usopp and I had to secretly try to sneak to get some?!”

Usopp had exactly a one second of time to facepalm and curse Luffy´s stupidity before Sanji’s shoe sole connected with his and Luffy’s faces, sending them flying outside of the galley.

Fire flamed all over Sanji when he jumped after the two idiots. “You stealing bastards!! I´ll spear you and roast you over the fire!!”

”Oh my,” Robin chuckled. ”So is there anything you would like to add to this, Swordsman-san?”

“Yeah Zoro, spit it out and don’t you dare leave anything out or you know where the interest of your debt will go.” Nami smirked, pointing her finger up.

Zoro tried to intimidate her into silence with his killing stare, which didn’t work this time either. So he settled for muttering quietly to himself: “Stupid shitty-cook…makes a great escape…avoids this conversation…he owes me a big time…oh he’s going to pay me back…”

“Oh shush now about that,” Nami interrupted, “I’m pretty sure that Sanji-kun paid you enough today in the bath tub.” Smirking like the Cheshire Cat, she leaned towards the now blushing swordsman. “So Roronoa Zoro, let’s start this story from the beginning, shall we?”

 

**Author's Note:**

> Kvaak!
> 
> This is my first fanfiction that I publish. I know it's short, but when you are non-native English speaker and you have two yellow flippers instead of fingers the writing process is significantly slower ;) 
> 
> This is also the beginning of my drabble-series Alphabet. I want to write short drabbles inspired by every letter. I'm open to suggestions for words that I should use ^^ 
> 
> I have always admired ZoSan-writers here, they have brought so much happiness in my life! Especially, I want to thank you my two AO3-friends: CreepyCoat and FlyingStewardess (GeneralDaijyoubu)! Without their support and proof-reading skills I wouldn't have written this. So thank you my friends! I kvaak you so hard!! <3
> 
> If you liked this, leave a nice comment/kudos/kvaak to me! ^^


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